According to the National Survey of Children with Special Health Care Needs (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services) one out of five families in the U.S. has at least one child with special needs. These needs range from physical limitations to developmental delays to mental health disabilities. Typically, the burden of caring for and advocating for special needs children falls to mothers.
In More Than A Mom: Living a Full and Balanced Life When Your Child Has Special Needs [Woodbine House, 2006], Amy Baskin and Heather Fawcett, each of whom is the mother of a special needs child, provide an overview of the many challenges mothers of special needs kids face. The book is easy to read and provides handy checklists for evaluating needs and concrete suggestions for meeting those needs. Baskin and Fawcett’s goal in the book is to help moms of special needs kids to lead happy and fulfilling lives while tackling the challenges of parenting their special needs children.
Challenges Facing Moms of Special Needs Kids
In addition to the unique care that each special needs kid requires, mothers are tasked with advocating for their children with schools, community and the medical establishment. Such advocacy requires the parent to become educated about their child’s particular special needs and then necessitates that the parent educate others in order to obtain the schooling and medical care necessary for their child’s growth and development. On top of this, obtaining child care or respite care for a special needs child can be extremely difficult which means that many moms of special needs kids find it almost impossible to take a break from their parenting duties.
All of these efforts are a profound drain on mothers. Mothers of special needs kids can feel overwhelmed, stressed, depressed and anxious. They are faced with making complex decisions regarding their child's welfare that they never anticipated before the birth of their special needs child. Family and friends are often unable to cope with the special needs of a child or are unsure how to provide assistance. Thus, a mom can feel extremely isolated when she most needs the help and understanding of others to cope with caring and advocating for her child.
More Than a Momattempts to address the myriad challenges facing these mothers and makes concrete suggestions for helping moms to thrive in the face of such challenges. The book is divided into six principal parts:
- Self-care, i.e., moms learning to take time to nurture themselves covering such topics as diet, exercise, and strategies for combating anxiety and depression.
- Becoming an advocate for the special needs child
- Family ties – preserving marriage and helping siblings
- Finding quality child care
- Juggling work and home obligations
- Strategies for making work fit with the life of a special needs mom
Self-Care for the Special Needs Mom
The chapters on self-care are invaluable. Baskin and Fawcett point out that moms are often the last item on their overcrowded “to do” lists. However, moms who neglect themselves are less able to parent their special needs child. In addition to diet and exercise, More than a Mom provides helpful tips for making time for hobbies and friendships.
Work and Special Needs Parenting
The final portion of the book helps women strategize about working outside the home, covering such topics as:
- how to discuss the challenges of raising a special needs kid with the boss
- how to “think outside the box” in terms of modifying an existing job by utilizing telecommuting, flextime, job sharing and other employment options
- suggestions for working from home
- how to re-enter the job market after years at home caring for special needs kids
While the book is aimed at mothers, fathers of children with special needs would also benefit from the book since many of the issues covered would apply to fathers as well.
More than a Mom is published by Woodbine House which specializes in books about disabilities.
More Than A Mom: Living a Full and Balanced Life When Your Child Has Special Needs is an invaluable resource which provides mothers with specific strategies for balancing the challenges of parenting special needs children with the self-care necessary to create a fulfilling personal and work life.
Jo Ann Woodsum - I am an attorney specializing in commercial real estate leasing transactions. I write romance novels under the pen name Joie Sonrisa (as ...
